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When the Here & Now is All You Have Left

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Lifestyle & Philosophy

For more than a quarter of a century I find myself living on this Earth. Many wonder in this life phase what they truly want to go do. The boundlessness of the teens has past, the awareness of temporality hits ground heading thirty now. Some dreams have gone, for most it is not yet too late. But in the meantime we have often also been shaped, changed, and sometimes scarred by experiences that went before. Many will choose a set path, suiting some of them, but not all. And others dare to make the step to a unique, usually uncertain journey.

We tend to assume that we will still be around for quite some time, but unfortunately we commonly forget the here and now, the main part of our lives, during a rushed existence. Standard questions concern work, education, and relationship status. Results and performances. Do you have an interesting life for others? Some are genuinely curious, but why do people so rarely ask instead whether you are content and happy at this very moment? Whether you are doing well for yourself with what you want? Why do we seldom focus on how we can shape the journey toward something, get and remain motivated, be a support for one another, experience and create love and joy in the intervening time? Isn’t who you are right here and now at least as important as who and what you will or can be later?

Several years ago I was faced with someone as young as I was, and who could no longer be occupied with sooner or later. I have been able to mean several things to this person, which I will not be able to place on my résumé, and which you will not be able to read directly from my face. Things of which I did not know I was capable of. There is more to life than partying as a youngster, seriously studying for your future, than showing off a job and income as an adult, and being attractive as a woman. The most significant picture is the one that you can uphold for yourself, and at which you can look with satisfaction with all its associated imperfections and flaws. For which you will dare to stand up when finding rejection from others, as they may then not really be concerned about you...

…And even more importantly, do you dare to admit to yourself with all the insecure voices in your everyday subconscious? That is the difficult part of growing up, everything gets grey and less black and white, but as soon as you will know how to change that to your advantage, you will realise what I am trying to achieve. Just being myself, never fully explainable to others through the tangible and daring to go for that.


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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

Hoe onjuist is het voor een vrouw om van de man te verwachten de wereld te bouwen, die zij wil, in plaats van deze zelf te creëren.

Anaïs Nin